Diary: True Confessions
by Gemini Star
Summary: Take a peek into CCS's couples' diaries and find out what they REALLY think. This is a triology. Part One, Chiharu's Secret, highlights one of CCS's most looked-over couple: Chiharu and Yamazaki. What happens at Chiharu's Spring Festival?
1. Chapter One

Diary: True Confessions  
Chapter One  
**Chiharu's Secret**

* * *

Date: 15 of March  
Spring

Dear Diary, 

Hello. I guess it's time to introduce myself. I am Chiharu ... your new owner. I'm now seventeen. 

It's springtime. You know, the time when the world stirs to life after a bleak period of time. The time when flowers burst into bloom, the time when birds begin to chirp and smile again, and time of the annual Spring Festival. 

For every Spring Festival, I have been hoping for a certain someone to ask me out and bring me there. He does, every year, but not in the way I want him to. Not in a relatives sort of way, in the boyfriend-girlfriend sort of way. So I'm praying that this year, he'll ask me out, in **that** way. 

_Chiharu puts her pen down thoughtfully, as her gaze searches the window ceaselessly. How was she to put her thoughts into words? The thoughts that she ponders every day, without fail, but yet, she couldn't seem to find ways to describe it. Chiharu looks at her diary, her new diary. It has beautiful Sakura flowers all over it ... Sakura flowers. They jolt a memory into her brain, another factor. She picks up her pen and continues writing._

I have a best friend, and her name is Kinomoto Sakura. We've been ever so close since Rika and Naoko moved away, and Tomoyo died. Daidouji Tomoyo is ... **was** very pretty and gentle and mild, but she died in a car accident, with her mother. I'm still unable to think about her without feeling a pang of pain. She's been dead for many years now, but I've never forgotten her. 

Sakura started going out with this boy, Li Syaoran, just before Tomoyo left us. She's always urging me to reveal my true feelings, like she revealed hers successfully. Did I mention that Syaoran admitted that he had always secretly liked her, and had not slowly accepted her because she had feelings for him? And that they got together on the Spring Festival? I'm just hoping that I'll follow her in her footsteps. Then again, I am not as outgoing as Sakura is. After Tomoyo's funeral, Sakura has managed to keep it together, just slightly quieter, mourning her loss in secret, but reverting back to her usual self slowly. Even though I had not been as close as Sakura was to Tomoyo, I was the most traumatized. I witnessed the accident as it happened ... don't make me relive the past. 

Anyway, ever since then, I've changed into someone not as outgoing as before, quieter and more reserved, gentler. I even began to study harder than usual. I pulled into my shell after Tomoyo's unnannounced and sudden leave, and only Sakura can drag me out of there. I venture out occasionally, but not often. You may not even know me from the exasperated Chiharu of eleven. 

The person in question is Takashi Yamazaki. God, even as I write his name, I can feel the blush creeping across my face. I guess I should describe him to you. Yamazaki is tall and is class president. He's very smart, and there's always a smile on his face, which causes him to sort of close his eyes. But whenever he's solemn or serious, you can see his eyes. They are very girlish, big and round and glassy, with long, long lashes. He has brown hair, and sometimes I feel the urge to run my fingers through them and straighten it out. He has a library of stories - fake ones, may I add. 

Yamazaki is also my cousin. 

I guess I should also describe myself to you too. My hair is still the same as before, brown, with waves running through them, thick and somewhat silky. I have brown eyes, too, but I'm no longer on the cheerleading team. Sakura and I dropped out after Tomoyo's unexpected leave. An activity that required you to keep a smile on your face and peppy energy just didn't cut it. We are in the gymnastics team though, so I'm still in shape. 

Sakura is a very pretty person. She has gorgeous green eyes and brownish-golden hair - either dark blonde or light brunette, I can never decide - and she's willowy. Her personality's very outgoing, friendly, and so on. 

What happened today was typical ... 

Yamazaki stepped into the room and flashed his usual smile. "Good morning!" "Morning, Yamazaki-kun," I replied, keeping my head down and eyes on the book I was reading. "Hello," Sakura greeted, and Syaoran nodded. Yamazaki kept the smile on his face as he tossed his bag onto his empty chair. I watched, amused, as he poised himself in the aisle between Sakura and Syaoran's desks. (Syaoran had moved to Tomoyo's usual spot ... ) "Sakura-chan," he began. Sakura looked up from her book, gullible as ever. "Yes?" 

"Did you know that our national flower, the Sakura flower, or cherry blossom, was created by an Englishman called Sakurian? He came to Japan as an ambassador, and one day, he noticed a strange plant outside his house. Now, Sakurian was also a plant scientist and ... " 

I giggled. Plant scientist? 

" ... the DNA of that plant and a rose's and he got the Sakura flower. They named the ... " 

At that point, I looked at Sakura's book: 'The Origins of Japan.' So Yamazaki got inspired by that one. 

" ... and at that time, Japan's ruler hadn't found a national flower yet, so he submitted the flower ... " 

Enough was enough. I stomped over, okay, walked over, and dragged Yamazaki away from the listening Sakura. "Yamazaki," I warned, voice low, eyes glaring, pulling on his ear. Sakura looked sheepish. "Chiharu ... " she said slowly. "I was listening to Yamazaki." 

"Don't believe that load of nonsense." 

Yamazaki waved gaily at Sakura and Syaoran as I hauled him away from them, and plunked him into his seat. I'm sure that I burnt holes into the back of his head with my eyes that day. 

* * *

Date: 17 of March  
Spring

Dear Diary, 

Guess what? This year, as we're the seniors of Tomoeda Academy, we get to organize the Spring Festival! Our Chinese teacher was talking about it today. It's known universally as _chun jie._ Isn't that a pretty name? 

Our class were taking nominations for the commitee, the council, to be exact, that would head the whole thing. Yamazaki, Sakura, Syaoran, and I were chosen, along with a new, very capable and responsible American girl called Klara. She has long blond hair and very blue eyes, typical American girl look, so she tends to be self-concious. I don't really know her that well; she's more Sakura's friend than mine. 

Yamazaki was also chosen, unanimously, as the head. When asked to chose the assistant, Yamazaki chose me. I blushed - I'm sure that he saw me and guessed my ulterior motive! - and smiled pleasantly. When we were done and let out of class, Sakura confided in me that when Yamazaki looked at me, she saw something else in his expression that signalled not only friendship, comradeship, and cousinship, but something deeper. 

I wanted, but didn't dare to believe her. Later in the afternoon (they have just left), the council came to my house. I baked some cookies and brownies. Yamazaki said that it was delicious and he wanted more, but I took it that he was just being polite. We chatted about this Spring Festival, and chose to hold it on the 15 of April. I have just been on a horoscopes website, and they say that the 15 of April, the moon will be bright and round: perfect for confessing your love for that special someone. I daren't hope too much on this, either. 

Sometimes I wish that I have more confidence in myself. 

_Chiharu looks up sharply as the phone begins to ring. She slips her flowered, blue pen into a pencil holder, climbs off the chair and picks it up. "Hello?" she asks. "Chiharu?" comes the familiar voice. _

_Her breath catches in her throat. "Yamazaki?" she replies hoarsely, with a question. "Yes, of course," her cousin says, laughing. Chiharu laughs a little as well, happy that she has made Yamazaki laugh. "When do you want to meet next?" Yamazaki inquires, voice taking on a curious tone. Chiharu is silent, pondering. "After school," she decides, as she grabs a pad of paper with designs of clouds for a border and a pencil. "How about the Tomoeda park?" _

_"Sure," is Yamazaki's reply. _

_Chiharu scrawls it down, her neat, cursive handwriting flowing effortlessly out of her pen. This is the type of paper she uses for her poems, however silly they seem to her, with their romantic murmurs; so she feels at home with it. "Thanks for calling me, Yamazaki." She sets down the paper, assuming that she was the last Yamazaki called. "When do we meet Klara, Sakura, and Syaoran?" _

_Yamazaki's voice is now low and gentle. "You were the first one I called." _

_Chiharu's heart skips a beat, then her pulse increases as her palms get damp. "Really?" she asks, forcing herself to sound normal. _

_"Hai." _

_"How about after school?" Chiharu suggests, in reply to her original question. She can almost see Yamazaki nodding over the phone. "Okay," he agrees. "Bye." _

_Chiharu waits for him to hang up, wanting to savour the sweetness of this phone call. She did not hear the click and dial tone as expected, as Yamazaki is also waiting for her to hang up first. _

_The silence hangs in the air. _

_Finally, Chiharu speaks. "Yamazaki?" The word lingers over the phone lines. Yamazaki is quick to respond. "Ladies first," he jokes. Chiharu chuckles as she sets the phone down into the cradle. With a warm feeling in her heart like she had just drunk a bowl of warm chicken soup, Chiharu flys across the room and resumes her diary-writing._

You wouldn't believe what I'm about to say, diary! Yamazaki called, we're meeting after school tomorrow ... I'll keep you updated! I'm so excited! 

* * *

**Author's Notes**

Well, I suppose I'm starting a new tradition: Author's Notes at every end of a 'part'. 

So … how was it? Review review REVIEW! //looks at you with puppy-dog eyes// PLEASE?! What do you think of the plot itself? I hope it's okay. //prays//


	2. Chapter Two

Diary: True Confessions  
Chapter Two  
**Chiharu's Secret**

* * *

Date: 21 of March  
Spring

Dear Diary, 

I'm so upset. The meeting wasn't a success, not from the start. 

I arrived first, so eager to begin that I got there thirty minutes before our meeting time. I **thought** that I'd gotten there first, but no, Sakura and Syaoran were before me. 

I know that this is mean, but I 'spied' on them. What I saw made my heart wrench in longing. I saw an auburn head, with neatly brushed and gleaming hair highlighted with random splatters of golden, and a brown, tousled head of hair, bent together close as they shared secrets and sweet, loving whispers. I heard Sakura's musical laugh, and Syaoran's low chuckle skim through the shrubs and trees to my pricked-up ears, many times. I saw Syaoran's hand rest lightly on Sakura's and Sakura gripping his hand like she had been waiting for that moment all along. I saw them sit closer, and finally, Syaoran slip an uncertain arm around Sakura's slender shoulders. They ended up with Sakura practically in his lap, her head resting on Syaoran's chest, her hair tickling his chin. There, they sat, their school bags left forgotten at the foot of the bench they sat on. I witnessed all this in a desperate craving to approach those stages of young courting. 

I could have cried, but I ambled out casually when it was time to break the enchanting spell of love that had been woven around them. I ducked through bushes to get to the opposite side, so that they couldn't accuse me of spying on them and also I could give them time to compse themselves. "Sakura! Syao - " my words were halted in midair. 

Sakura and Syaoran were locked together, arms entwined. I could not see Sakura, for her back was facing me, but I saw Syaoran's flushed face and a glimpse of shining eyes before they closed, enjoying the love of the moment. They kissed, passionately, and Syaoran fondled Sakura's hair playfully; lovingly, caught up in the heat of the moment. 

"Oh - " I could not speak as a sob clogged my throat up, yearning renting my heart into pieces. I supressed a sob, turned, and fled. 

Call me a coward, but I didn't turn up for the meeting at all. I could not bear seeing Syaoran and Sakura together. 

Never again. I swear that I will never spy on them again. The feelings and emotions that crackled in the air was too much, way too much, for me. 

* * *

E-mail: From Klara to Chiharu

From: danger_girl1984@dreams.com  
To: chiharu@sakura.com 

Dear Chiharu-chan,  
Why weren't you at the meeting? We waited for you for fifteen minutes then started without you. Syaoran and Sakura looked soooo guilty, like they were making out or something! They are so cute together - or kawaii, as you say over here. 

Anyway, Yamazaki was sorta disappointed. I think he has a crush on you. Right? 

Reply! Please! =) 

-Klara Robinson 

* * *

Date: 25 of March  
Spring

Dear Diary, 

Little did Klara know how much her words cut me. I poured out my grievances to her anyway, finally feeling a bond to this friendly American girl. I could not help but laugh at the truly American phrases. They were so descriptive! 'Making out' and 'crush'. 

I told Klara for my feelings for Yamazaki, and I am awaiting her reply. I told her about Sakura and Syaoran, too ... I simply needed someone in confide in. Sakura's taking a route, and she has to explore where the route leads to with Syaoran, and not with me any longer. I can't talk to her about this. I do know that Klara only casually dates people, so I can trust her. 

Less than a month to the Spring Festival! We met again over these few days, and boy, were they fruitful! I was put in charge of 'ambience', the romantic mood it's supposed to be. I have an idea: to hold the dance outdoors! The moon will be bright and romantic, too. I've already picked out decorations: a combination of pale pink and cream, light and delicate colors. I hope that it doesn't rain! 

Sakura was in charge of marketing, selling the tickets to the festivities in the day and also to the dance at night. She has to get the word out about the dance too. The more money we rake in for donations for the earthquake victims, the better. Syaoran is in charge of refreshments. Klara's in charge of music, with her extensive knowledge of the hits nowadays. Yamazaki is overall in charge. 

The thing is coming together fast! I'm getting so eager for this to start. 

* * *

Date: 27 of March  
Spring

Dear Diary, 

Klara and I have become much closer over the span of two days. We're getting to be great friends, after I'd confessed to her. Klara and Sakura are the only souls in the world that know my secret - I'm praying that Yamazaki doesn't find out. 

Our teacher, Tereda-sensei, has just thrown a bomb into our laps. We had been planning to hold the party/ball/dance thing in the park, along the road, but he was unable to get a permit. We have to find somewhere else, and I can't think of anywhere! I have to think of this, fast. Meanwhile, the students in our school have **already started buying tickets!** Isn't that great? Leave it to Sakura. 

Meanwhile, Klara has just told me that she has already gotten a list of songs ready. I looked through them, and wow! She has really good taste. It was mostly slow, romantic songs with the sudden sprinkling of fast ones. There were some oldies and new hits. I noticed that there was tons of Michael Learns To Rock songs, and I questioned her why. A little shyly, she admitted that, for the educated, updated music front she puts up, she is addicted to old, slow songs - which lyrics have mountains of meanings in them. 

Yamazaki has been behaving so strangely lately. Whenever I enter the room, he's awkward and shifty. I keep wondering what he is keeping from me. Maybe I should call him ... or should I? He keeps on asking me a question, then breaking it off before I can hear the rest of it. 

I hope that it isn't 'another girl'. 

Nah. How can I think of such a thing? He would tell me. 

But maybe I should e-mail him all the same ... 

* * *

E-mail: From Chiharu to Yamazaki

From: chiharu@sakura.com  
To: spinner_of_yarns@sakura.com 

Hi, Yamazaki-kun! 

I found this poem on the Internet: 

Friends are sunlight - bask in them.  
Friends are there - appreciate them.  
Friends are irreplacable - grab and hold tight to them.  
Friends are golden - TREASURE THEM!

Don't you find it so true? I was thinking about Tomoyo when I read this. 

Is there something wrong? You don't seem like yourself lately. 

-Chiharu 

* * *

**Author's Notes**

Ooh. Getting into the S + S bits now, aren't we? //rubs her hands together and licks her lips//  
  
Ignore me. I'm an incurable S + S freak. My permanent dilemma is this: Is Syaoran better off with Eriol or Sakura? 

//goes off somewhere to think//

//pops back in//

You'd thought that I'd forgotten, dincha? 

//grabs reader and throttles him/her//

**__**

**_REVIEW!!_**


	3. Chapter Three

Diary: True Confessions  
Chapter Three  
**Chiharu's Secret**

* * *

Date: 30 of March  
Spring

Dear Diary, 

I guess I have a confession to make: Before Tomoyo passed away, I had a fight with her, but it was a one-sided fight. She left sadly, without her usual smile. I was so cross, I didn't even bid her goodbye. I was looking out the window when the chauffer pulled up, her mom seated on the plush seats. Tomoyo slipped into the car, eyes downcast. I was about to let the curtains fall, but something compelled me to hold the curtains up. The loud crash startled me, and I saw the wreckage ... I saw the bodies. 

I just want to make Tomoyo smile again, one last time, to say goodbye and to wish her all the best in her next life or the next world. 

Being a friend - some friend! - I didn't even do that. 

The fight was just so stupid ... I can't even remember what it was about. I have been feeling guilty all my life now. I can't forget the shock that found its way into her violet eyes when I started yelling at her. I can't forget the unhappiness professed so clearly and vividly in those frown lines etched onto the forehead. I can't ever forget, but I realize that I've got to face that facts, one last time, for real, then getting over Tomoyo's death. Tomoyo is dead. There. The words are written down. 

From now on, I won't let Tomoyo's death hang over me like a shadow. It isn't my fault, although I still wish that I hadn't been so nasty to her. She's a chapter now, locked behind, a chapter that will be unforgettable, but will never be unlocked again. 

* * *

Note: From Sakura to Chiharu

Hey, 

What's up with you lately? Meet you after school. Don't reply. 

* * *

Date: 31 of March Spring

Dear Diary, 

I must have been moody and miserable lately. It did take me some time to approach that matter, the entry above. It took me some time to agonize over what I've written, too. Sakura met me after school today, and she expressed her concerns clearly. 

"Chiharu," she began, her eyebrows furrowed. "Is there something wrong? Are you mad at me?" 

"Nope," I replied after some time, surprised. 

"You've been avoiding me lately." 

It hit me with a bang. Of course! The Syaoran thing ... 

"Well," I hemmed, pulling at my uniform, adjusting my bag's shoulder straps until the length of time could no longer be lengthened. Sakura was looking at me patiently, and finally, I burst. "It's about Syaoran. It was just recently that I've been feeling like this. I mean, you're so close to him, it's like you've went ahead and shut and locked the door behind you. I'm afraid I can't keep the friendship between us." The words tumbled out like petals falling. "I don't want you to leave me behind. Not after Tomoyo. So I thought that I'd be the one to leave **you** behind, shut the door and block it, but never to lock it. You have Syaoran, after all. And Klara." I was about to say more, but my voice was breaking and Sakura gave me a friendly hug. 

"The door may be shut, Chiharu, but it will never be locked. Never." 

It was all she had to say. We're back to normal, now. I'm glad about that. Sakura is really my best friend; I can't lose her. Klara and I are getting to be chums, though. 

Also, a little something happened that made me feel rather flustered and stiff. Today, Sakura and I had a gymnastics meet, but Sakura complained to the teacher that she had twisted her ankle a little, and was not fit for gymnastics. We were all groaning about it - Sakura was the star in our presentation to the school - and we were now an uneven number without her, not a good number for making patterns and performing. 

They quickly prodded me to be the new star, the one to be tossed, flipped, and the one to perform very difficult moves. I rose to the occasion rather well, even if I do say so myself. I loved twirling the ribbon around me, even if my limbs still ache. Ow! I just moved my leg a little too fast. 

Sakura was longing to be in the meet; I could see it in her eyes. When we walked home, she wasn't limping at all. Finally, I asked her why and she said that she purposely sat this one out. 

"Why?" I demanded. 

"For you." With further urging from me, she explained: "I knew that Yamazaki was turning up - " 

"Yamazaki?! But he was supposed to have physics then!" 

"I know. He skipped it. To watch the gymnastics meet." 

"But he'll get into trouble!" I protested. 

Sakura shrugged. "It's over now. Anyway, since Yamazaki specially turned up to watch you, I don't see why you should be angry. You should be flattered!" Her eyes were dancing. "And since I knew that **you** knew all the steps already that I was doing, I turned a blind eye to whatever harm I thought I was doing and told a lie to the teacher in charge. I knew that you were going to be my replacement. I quit this one so that you could shine, in front of Yamazaki." 

I touched her arm. "Thanks," I whispered, unable to believe that Sakura had given up the chance to be Star Gymnast of the year. The S.G. has to attend all meets and practices, and so far that year, Sakura hadn't skipped any. 

Until now, for me. 

I was moved, but Sakura plowed on, giving me no chance to express my gratitude. "I saw Yamazaki watching you, practically drooling. You were amazing, Chiharu. I wouldn't be surprised if you turned out S.G." 

All I could sputter was thank yous. 

Maybe Yamazaki does like me after all ... what do you think? 

* * *

Date: 1 of April  
Event: Sakura's Birthday  
Spring

Dear Diary, 

Yep, it's Sakura's birthday today. I was determined to get a great birthday present for her the week before, and I'd managed to find one: A beautiful crystal Sakura blossom. Frankly speaking, she was delighted by it. 

Sakura's very popular, judging by the turnout of her surprise party. I hadn't wished her happy birthday that morning, and she looked rather confused and vaguely hurt. Syaoran didn't mention a thing to her, too. When we were out of school, she was downright disappointed. "Hey, Sakura!" I called after her retreating back. "Get to my house tonight at seven!" 

Sakura nodded, giving me a smile. "OK," she said, before heading for home. 

Syaoran came over and chuckled. 

"Maybe she thinks that we've really forgotten her birthday." 

It was a mistake to hold the party at seven. We should have held it earlier. The kids left at two A.M., leaving the house in tatters. **My** house. I'm drained from cleaning up, but it was worth it to see Sakura's face when we leapt out at her screaming. It lit up like Christmas candles. 

Syaoran managed to get for her clips of her Clow Card-capturing and combined them into a movie of about one hour. He, of course, didn't let the others watch it, giving whoever wanted to get his or her hands on it a mysterious smile. Yes, Sakura told me of her Card Captor thing, now that it's over and the Cards are back into the Clow Book. 

We ate and watched movies and played silly games until about twelve midnight. Then we started the serious, dangerous games that could result in the rumor mill kick-started. 

Truth or Dare. 

And Spin the Bottle. 

We played the former first, the girls giggling and shrieking as new crushes (as Klara said later) were revealed to them. Boys blushed and murmured secrets for all to hear. Thankfully, the game ended before it was Klara, Sakura, Syaoran, Yamazaki, or my turn. 

Spin the Bottle was absolutely disastrous. Not only did the bottle seemed cursed or something, but something happened that I dreaded and looked forward to - but it didn't actually happen. Actually, it wasn't really disastrous, more magical and romantic than what I had expected. 

First, this boy named Wilbert spun, and it landed on me. After a friendly peck on the cheek, I spun. It hit Klara and I forfeited my turn. Klara reached out and, with a deft flick, set the bottle turning. Soon enough, the bottle pointed to Wilbert. A cheer arose. "Wilbert, you are one lucky man!" I hear someone say, as Klara daringly kissed him full on the lips. 

After that were a few mismatched couples. Daisy spun and it landed on Klara, who managed to get the thing to point to Syaoran. Instead of kissing his lips like she did to Wilbert - and that was so bold it left him breathless, amazed, flushed and embarrased - the little vixen simply gave Syaoran's cheek a quick brush. As she returned to her seat, she gave Sakura a secret wink. 

Syaoran smiled, then gingerly reached out, spinning it powerfully. The empty Coke bottle slowed painfully, pointed to me, Klara, flashed over Daisy, Yamazaki, Carrie, and some others, before wheeling to a stop. 

Pointing straight to Sakura. 

The catcalls and whistles nearly brought the house down. I was tickled pink. I had no feelings of envy or jealousy now, as Syaoran went over to Sakura, cupped her chin in his hands and pecked her gently on her lips. The kiss deepened, and I watched, very much amused. "Oi!" Klara said laughingly, pretending to be impatient. "If you want to make out, get outside and do it alone! Don't make us gag with the sweetness!" 

They broke apart, confused and shy. Sakura spun and it hit me, I reached out and turned the bottle, which, with an eerie certainity, pointed at Yamazaki. I trembled outright at the group waited for the surefire, friendly kiss they were certain that would ensue. As I went across the circle and brought my face close ... 

The phone rang. 

I could have screamed. I dashed up to my room - for it was my private line that was ringing - and picked the phone up with a positive hiss. "Hello?" 

"Chiharu, dear, this is Aunt Janie. Yamazaki should be home by now, I'm going out with his father and he has to babysit Josh." 

"Okay, I'll tell him," I said politely. "Bye." 

As I reached the top of the stairwell, I announced, almost angrily: "Yamazaki, your mom called. You've got to go home and babysit your little brother." 

Yamazaki stood, and left so fast that I wondered if he'd even reached my house. The crowd dispersed soon after, and I went to bed with a stomachful of disappointment and relief. 

Oh, well. Maybe it was good that it didn't happen. Who knows what would have changed between us? 

* * *

Author's Notes 

****

//stretches and yawns sleepily// I've been sitting at the comp for like two hours fine-tuning the fic. Yes, the fic's done, be on the lookout for the last chapter! Thanks for the reviews so far, guys, I really appreciate them. What did you think? Tell me … please!! 

//yawns again// I'm gonna go take a nap now. //waves// Ja ne! 


	4. Chapter Four

Diary: True Confessions  
Chapter Four  
**Chiharu's Secret**

* * *

Date: 14 of April  
Spring

Dear Diary, 

Oh my gosh! First of all, I want to say something like "SORRY!" to you, as I haven't written in you since last fortnight. Am I feeling guilty, or what? 

You wouldn't **believe** what I'm about to say! Rika-chan's coming back! Isn't that amazing news? Sakura muttered something about Tereda-sensei (who, unfortunately, is still teaching us Math) when we got hold of the news. I mean, what the connection between Rika and Tereda-sensei? I don't understand. But I'm glad that Rika's coming back to Tomoeda. She'll make it on the day after the Spring Festival's debut. 

Imagine! It's happening tomorrow! I'm apprehensive and eager, all at once. I can barely write, but I owe it to you, after all the secrets we've shared. How do you think it's going to turn out? I hope that it'll be okay, or to be exact, wonderfully romantic. 

Fat hope. 

But oh well, I'll update you when the Festival's over. Syaoran, of course, is going with Sakura, and Klara ended up with two different dates: Wilbert and Jason. It'd be interesting to see how she handles that, ne? Gilbert has asked me, but I'd refused. I'm still hoping, but Yamazaki-kun hasn't asked me yet. We're going together, but not as a date. Does that make sense? No, it doesn't. I wish he'd ask ... 

Or should I take the initiative? I'm too confused and worried to write right now, I guess. I'd better go. 

* * *

Date: 16 of April  
Spring

Dear Diary, 

I can barely bring myself to write, my hand's still shaking and my heart's thumping - **hard**. 

I guess I should start with the Festival. After escorting me there, Yamazaki left me alone to look for Syaoran. 'Speak of the devil ... ' I'd thought when the man himself swept before me, with Sakura on his arm. Syaoran looked good. Hey, I like Yamazaki, but I know a good-looking man when I see one ... oh my Kami-sama, what am I saying? That wasn't me right now ... it'd be befitting for the past Chiharu to say that, but not me. 

Anyway, I smiled and said, "Syaoran, Yamazaki's looking for you." 

Syaoran gave me a half-smile and turned to Sakura, bowing low. "Excuse me, my lady," he said, a goofy smile on his lips. "Will you excuse me?" 

Sakura chuckled. "Why yes, by all means." She jokingly turned her nose up in the air and shot Syaoran an imperious glare. "Get out of my sight, you filthy scum." 

Syaoran cowered before her. "Yes, Madam," he grinned, and disappeared into the swirl of students. 

Oh dear, I just realized that I forgot to tell you: It was early morning then, when the games and festivities are held. Then it was the dance, starting at 7.00 PM sharp and ending at 12 midnight, just like Cinderella. 

"Sakura!" I gasped when I took a good look at her. "You look wonderful!" I wasn't just saying that because she was my best friend. It was true. She wore a kimono, made of a soft, pale pink in color. A silk sash, of a deeper shade of pink, adorned her waist, gathering the robes tight together and producing a breathless, sweet, earnestly young look. Amazing, considering what she has gone through. She somehow managed to look graceful while on wooden clogs. I totter forward rather clumsily when I'm on clogs, for your information. 

"Thanks, Chiharu, you look beautiful yourself." 

"Oh, but the surprises will be held in store tonight at the dance." A new voice joined the fray, with a hint of a drawl in it. I didn't even have to check the owner of the voice. Who else could it be? 

Klara smiled as she came forward, clad, too, in a kimono of a striking purple - not of a very conventional color or pattern, I noted with a rueful grin. The sexy girl's kimono was drawn a tad too tightly around her waist, the material clung round her slender body more than it should, and the robes hung off her shoulders in a particularly enticing way. The blond hair should have clashed with the purple, as should the blue eyes, but somehow, it all melted together nicely. 

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Very tantalizing, eh Klara?" she asked sarcastically, with a trace of good humor in it. Jason was next to her, trying very hard not to drool. Oh no, there I go again - how sarcastic and biting can I get? That isn't me at all. 

I think I've changed. 

Oops. I'm off the topic. Back to the story. 

"Yep," Klara flashed a dazzling smile and waved as she walked away. "Whoops!" I heard her cry as she pitched forward, causing a bemused Gilbert to catch her in his arms. "Thanks, Gil," I caught her whisper in his ear as she continued on her way with a green-eyed - not literally - Jason following her. Intentionally or noy, I couldn't tell. 

"That's our Klara. Incorrigible." My pulse rate sped up as I heard Yamazaki's voice. The lean, tall figure stepped in front of me ... 

Facing Sakura. 

I felt the urge to jump up and down, waving my arms and going, "Yamazaki? Hello? I'm your cousin and I'm alive, too, you know." But I restrained myself, and left behind a confused Sakura, a sweatdropping Syaoran and a blathering Yamazaki. 

I wandered the Festival. People came up to congratulate me on my success, but I'd tell them: "We'll see. The Festival's not over yet." and walk away. But it **was** a success - the morning part, at least. The breeze was fresh and cool against my skin, and the tiny flowers reaching for the sunlight sprinkled over the field cheered me up, a lot. When I toured the place at least four times, taking part in some contests and eventually winning a small keychain with a bird on it, signifying spring, it was time to close up shop. It was eleven then, and it had started at seven. 

I left for home, after waiting twenty minutes for Yamazaki. I wondered where he could be ... 

When I got home, I took a bath and fell asleep. When my dog Juji aroused me with a bark or two, it was only five, so I decided to indulge myself. I took a long bath that lasted for twenty minutes, soaked in warm water that eventually turned cold, lathering myself with sweet-smelling soap that gradually ran out. I got out, my hair wrapped in a towel, and began getting ready. This seemed to be important to me as, let's say, prom night. After all, I was one of the organizers, wasn't I? 

At six-thirty, when I was preparing to leave - in fact, my hand was already on the doorknob - something made me draw back. Yamazaki. Did I look good enough for him? I quickly stepped in front of the dresser. 

The make-up was skilfully put on - I hadn't outdone it. My silk dress, a pale yellow in color, hung down my body in gentle folds, held up by two thin straps of cloth. A shawl was draped in my arms, and I wore high heels that were almost hidden by my dress. My hair was arranged in a soft twist, strands falling lightly out of place. 

There was something missing. I swiftly plastered a smile on my face. It looked fake ... way too fake. I allowed myself to rest, then tried smiling again. The smile was genuine now, and it lit my face up. There. That was what was missing. Grabbing a small, beaded handbag, and slinging it delicately on my wrist, I waltzed out of my room in a good mood. 

When I got there, it was seven on the dot. I was one of the earliest - apparently, the phrase 'fashionably late' applied to most people. Just after I'd come in, Syaoran and Sakura did so too, making a grand entrance that was almost ruined by the scant handful of people scattered around. If there had been more people around, the impact would certainly be greater. Syaoran looked dashing in a tuxedo like a prince out of legend. The body that he'd developed while training helped matters, too. Sakura was in a modest pink dress that, no matter how hard she tried to hide it, showed off her curves to absolute perfection. 

I waved at them and beckoned at them to come closer. They did so, and we stood around drinking punch and chattering away about how beautiful the place looked. And it did look good, even if I said so myself. 

Yes, we'd gotten the permit. The trees were lit up with soft bulbs of mostly light green and yellow. They blinked on and off intermittently. However, there weren't much of bulbs - most of them were around the refreshments table so that people could see what they were eating. The place were mostly lit up with lanturns and candles, creating a mysterious look. Sakura stood under a candle (we were far away from the refreshments table - it was getting crowded, fast), and the pool of light threw a light like a halo over her. She looked shadowy and bright, mysterious yet open all at once. Speakers were hidden all around the shrubs and bushes. Other than that, the dancing floor - a clearing - was rather empty. The wilder, bolder crowd hadn't appeared yet. 

I suppose being fashionably late's very important to them. 

Speaking of wild, Klara came in at eight. Yes, our music manager, coming in an hour late! And oh boy, her dress showed ... I don't think I ought to describe it to you, but it showed a fair bit of flesh in the correct places so that she retained her dignity. She was next to Wilbert, who, like Jason could not take his eyes off her. Her hair was swept into an elegant bun at the nape of her neck. Hers was a grand entrance all right. The silence fell over the crowded place like a blanket at the daring dress and flaring sleeves and hem. The enchantress's hips swayed a little too seductively as she walked, her lashes blinked a tad too often, and her lips were just a bit too pouty. Wilbert looked ... well ... normal, next to her. 

"Uh-oh," Klara grunted, close enough for me to hear. "Hey, Wilbert ... erm ... I see Allison! Yeah, I'll see you later," she finished quickly. Just at the moment when she disappeared into the darkness, Jason appeared, glaring at Wilbert. "Close shave," I heard her sigh. 

I giggled, but my giggle was cut short at the touch of a hand on my arm. "Want to dance, Chiharu?" said a friendly voice. Before I could reply, Syaoran slipped a hand around my waist and hand, staying a respectful distance away. "Sure," I replied even as my feet began moving to the music. 

I was shrieking with laughter as Syaoran twirled me out and spun me back in. I hadn't danced so wildly, like this, for ages! Precisely at that moment, when the song ended, Syaoran let go of me. "Thanks, Li-kun," I said. He flashed me a small smile and took Sakura's hand as they began swaying to the slow music. Sakura winked at me as I walked past. I saw Klara dash out looking frazzled. "You haven't seen Jason around, have you?" she hissed. I shook my head, but she'd already ran again, spying Jason coming through the crowd. I allowed myself a small smile. Klara was having trouble juggling the two. 

My eyes were downcast as the music rang in my ears. It was one of my favourite songs: I knew the lyrics word-for-word. But somehow, I didn't feel like dancing. Of course, it didn't help that there was nobody who wanted to dance with me. I looked away as my eyes began to fill with tears of longing again. 'I'm turning into a mess,' I remember thinking. 

A hand grabbed mine and I was swung out. That particular hand held mine tightly as another encircled my waist. I looked up to see who the inviter was and nearly gasped. "Yamazaki?" I asked dumbly as he stepped closer. 

"Who else could it be, Chiharu-san?" he asked gently. I said nothing as he began moving to the beat. I did too, resisting the temptation no longer. We were silent until the song was over. I was in bliss then. Yamazaki had **asked me to dance!**

"Chiharu, come with me for a moment." 

I followed Yamazaki as he led me into a bench hidden away under a tree. "Yes, Yamazaki-kun?" 

"Remember this?" He held up a teddy bear. 

I gasped again. "That's the bear I made you when we were eleven!" 

Yamazaki smiled. "So you remember. Well, I made one for you back." 

He reached under the bench again and handed me a gray teddy bear with marble eyes the exact shade of mine. Every stitch was lovingly sewed on; I could feel it. I'm fondling it now, and it is soft and furry. 

"Thank you," I stuttered like a fool as I reached out for it with trembling hands. I heard strains of my absolute favourite song playing behind us - Dreaming of You by Selena. My mind flashed back to the outgoing, young Chiharu I once was, and how I had handed the bear to him meekly. "I thought you named the bear after your favourite snack?" I asked, rather bitterly. 

Yamazaki ignored the anger. "I renamed it." 

"What's the new name, then?" 

"Chiharu." 

"I ... " My voice trailed into silence as I held the bear close. Unexpectedly, Yamazaki inched closer. I stiffened. 

Then the magic of the night interweaved itself into us. 

Yamazaki grabbed my hand as if he had been gearing up for this all along. He pulled me forward and I followed willingly. He began circling slowly, as did I, dancing to the tinkling music that filtered through the trees to us. "You like this song, don't you, Chiharu?" I nodded mutely. "It's your favourite," he continued. I was flabbergasted. I had only mentioned that to him once, many years ago ... he still remembers? Impossible. 

We were closer and closer as Selena's clear voice wove around us like a spell. 

"'Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight,  
Til tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight,  
And there's no where in the world I'd rather be,  
Than here in my room, dreaming about you and me ... " 

Finally, I took the risk and rested my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. I looked up hopefully and closer ... closer he came. 

Oh, the sweetness of the moment! I can feel my lips tingle even as I think of it. "You know, Chiharu ... " 

"I love you ... " he whispered as his lips hungrily sought mine out. I was in heaven then. I couldn't have thought that it would be better than that ... never did I dream of such a day. Above us, the full moon sent cold rays washing down, smiling benevolently down at us all. 

_Chiharu pauses and closes her book. She has written to the last page. She locks the diary with a small golden key, and slips it into her drawer carefully. It holds her past, and is very precious to her. Just as she shuts the drawer, the phone gives a shrill ring. _

_With a deft scoop, Chiharu picks the phone up. "Hello, Chiharu speaking," she says into the mouthpiece. "Yamazaki?" she asks as his voice greets her. "Yes," Yamazaki says. "Listen, Chiharu," he begins and stops. "Are you busy this Saturday?" _

_"Busy? No, I'm not." A smile creeps across her voice. _

_"Can you come for a movie with me, then?"_

* * *

**Author's Notes**

Yay! **Chiharu's Secret** is finally over! The next part of the trilogy will be about another couple's that not very popular. Yes, I assure you that it won't concern either Syaoran or Sakura. I'm kinda sick of S + S fics now. I need a little break. 

If you want to know what the next part of the trilogy will be about, read Chiharu's entry for the 14 of April. Check who she mentions in that entry. It's an old CCS character. Obvious now, huh? 

Well, I was in a pretty good mood so I thought that I'd upload this a day after I'd just upload the third part … I'd won an essay-writing competition. //smiles// 


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